Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
two words...techno handjob
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Randomize
