You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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