I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
where are you?
Hypothermia
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Randomize
