Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Randomize
