69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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