You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
