the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
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