i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
worst night to have a conscience
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
