i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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