Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Randomize
