How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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