He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
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