We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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