I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
