I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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