shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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