I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
