My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
