Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
