Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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