Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
