Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize