She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
