i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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