lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize