I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize