She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
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