Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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