my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
