you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
