I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
