if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Your cock deserves a montage
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
