He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
