So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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