yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Come back. Shots need mouths.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
