how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
we're so committed to being not committed
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
