My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
