i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
