but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
