sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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