Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
home. puking in laundry basket.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
