It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
