I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
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