I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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