Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
So squirting runs in the family.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
