you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
