He is an equal opportunity slut.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
