bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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