theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
My ass is underappreciated
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize