I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
