she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Randomize
