Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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