dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
