You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
