why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Randomize
