I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
