i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
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