and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
