Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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