you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
