Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
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