we're blogging at a bar
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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